Life Lessons – Rabia Bashir

Piecing Together Our Past

I’m visiting my family in the UK and was looking through some old photo albums stored in my bedroom. I came across a sepia toned photograph of my mum smiling as she happily held me – a three day old baby – in her arms.

I must have seen this picture a handful of times in the past but today was different. For the first time, I noticed how young she looks. And seeing the happiness in her face as she looked down at her baby – me – filled me with warmth. I carefully pulled back the plastic covering, peeled the photo off the sticky page and took it downstairs to the kitchen. Once there, I grinned, hugged my mum and showed her the picture. I’ve always known I was born on a Saturday morning by caesarean section but I got to hear a little more today as mum nestled into the nook of my arm and recalled her first birthing experience. Continue reading Piecing Together Our Past

Beware of the Bubble Breachers

Soon after settling into an expat existence in Riyadh, I began to make a number of new friends. One of them, Fia, was giving some survival advice to a new mutual friend who had not long ago arrived in the Kingdom.

“Put your protective bubble on before you leave the house,” she said to Becky. I nodded in agreement. Continue reading Beware of the Bubble Breachers

Petty Politics

It’s easy to get caught up in petty politics between colleagues, friends, family members or a random group of people. It’s easy to stay quiet in an effort to sit on a diplomatic fence, watching the most outspoken battle it out on the ground below. And it’s even easier to nod in agreement with one side or both only to then air your true feelings and views in private – behind backs.But how many times have you then gone home and lost appetite or sleep because your views didn’t get any airtime? How many times have you kicked yourself for not standing up for what you believe to be right? Usually your instincts and troubled mind are good indicators as to which fights you perhaps should have participated in.

Getting off the fence and standing up to loud mouthed people (in some cases, bullies) requires energy and guts. And it can be more anxiety provoking than being a silent bystander. But once it’s over, a great feeling of pride and a boost in confidence follows. A simple “No. I don’t agree with you.” can be momentous and a valuable building block of your future stronger self.

Pick and choose your battles – but battle you must – especially when your morals, values or beliefs are threatened.

Small Achievements vs Big Achievements

The euphoria you experience by attaining something quickly and easily lasts a mere moment compared to something attained through hardship and determined perseverance.

So stop focusing on small hills to climb when your ambition is that mountain beyond the hills. For all the time and effort you spent on the easier shorter tasks, you could have been standing at the highest summit at this very moment.

Train your mind to stop procrastinating and start climbing that mountain today.

Can Fat Be Fit?

I managed to swim thirty lengths yesterday – the most I’ve ever swum in my life.

It made me remember the school swimming gala I took part in when I was approximately twelve years old. I was representing my class in the front crawl race. But before I continue – a little background information – I’ve always carried a little (and sometimes a lot) of extra weight compared to my peers. My brother, who was sat in the spectators’ area on the first floor, told me over dinner that evening about what had happened to him when I stepped forward to the edge of the pool.

“Oh my God Juned – is that your fat sister?!” His ‘friends’ pointed down and laughed. I imagine he shrivelled back in his seat and waited for me to come in last.

Thank God the laughter and cruel words didn’t reach me as I focused on my lane of water. The whistle blew, I swam with all my might and the race ended. I came in second place. The boys stopped laughing and my brother sat forward with surprise and pride (I imagine).

“I didn’t know you were a good swimmer Afa,” he beamed over dinner.

Like any school kid or person, I had my weaknesses of course – long distance running was (and still isn’t) my thing. I used to dread the yearly cross country runs (which only really involved running around the school grounds but it seemed an enormous task for an overweight teen like myself!). And don’t get me started on hurdles – the shame I felt at needing to be carried off by 2 students and a teacher after crashing into a hurdle still haunts me when I think about it!

But I did go on to come in second (or third – I can’t recall exactly) in a discus throwing competition during a Sports Day. Also, I was a Captain and led my netball team to victory in an intra-school tournament a few years later.

I still appear a little overweight than my peers but one thing never left my side – stamina. As an adult I can dance vigorously for hours as well as train in the gym with mighty force.

Moral of the story?

Do not assume that a person carrying extra flesh is lazy, unfit or unsupple. They may just be able to swim, walk, jog or run that extra mile more than you.

Standing in Dad’s Shoes

Background: I love to cook and have started a small catering business here in Riyadh. During the month of May 2013 I took over the restaurant in the compound I live in – to offer Curry Nights once a week. This is what I wrote (and later told my Dad over Skype) after I hobbled home and fell onto my bed:

I stood in my dad’s shoes for a mere 9 hours today…something he’s been doing for longer than I’ve been alive. My throbbing feet force my mind back to my childhood when he would finish a stint at the restaurant in the early hours then get up to take us shopping for Eid clothes. I always wanted matching jewellery with my outfit and back in those days, Asian fashion shops were scarce. So my dad took us out for hours – hunting for new clothes (and my matching accessories). As I would insist on finding the right shade of bangles, I don’t remember him ever complaining – not about him being tired and not about him spending his hard earned money. His feet must have throbbed from the night before, or at least felt heavy with the anticipation of doing it all over again after our shopping trip.

It’s amazing how parents have the capacity to put their needs and wants aside to make their children happy. I’m truly blessed to have such parents.

-Rabia Bashir